Exotic or not?


Even though one might say that our views and perceptions are merely a product of our environment. And that we are bound by our nationalities, cultures and genes. I don't believe it. Yes, those factors might have an influence, but isn't a little restricting? Isn't it very restricting? What if one has a choice and a burning desire to be free and to choose their own environment? As long as I can remember I didn't identify with my birth place and people at all... nor did I identify with history.... However fascinating it can be. I don't feel proud. Why should I? I didn't participate in any of that... I was just born in a place where they had Tsars, Communists, space travel, corruption, balalaikas, oppression of natives, uber cold places, Ukraine domination, sexism, great poetry, xenophobia, great art, homophobia, fascinating language, oppressive family construct and cake-shaped churches. As long as I can remember I was just curious to learn and explore more and more about the world. I hoped (is it hopeless?) that there is a place on Earth where it doesn't matter what place you come from. So there... to anyone who says "Ooh isn't exotic to be you?! It must be sooo exotic. It must be so mysterious and fascinating to be Russian...". My answer would be "How the hell would I know if it is exotic to be me. I am me and you are you. And my "running away/ traveling" history is not of a typical Russian. I don't even know what it's like to be one. All I know is that I wanted to leave since I was 4 (basically as long as I can remember). I also know that air, sky, water, earth and space behave in similar ways in various parts of this planet and it is simply ridiculous to tie your identity to basic physical laws. Pardon me for not being nationalistic, to my heart and soul it would be death. So maybe it is exotic to be me, but only because I don't think that it means anything serious to be born in some place. In that case exotic should be normal. Can a culture be celebrated without domination, murder and fake superiority? It is only a human construct anyway and it is so momentary."

Do not be mistaken in assuming that one "betrays" their heritage and humanity by not being nationalistic. In my experience one can gain more by elevating out of socio-cultural restrictions and relate to others by accepting them on a deeper "all is one" level.